Friendship, Kinship, Love

Sandi’s House
Monday Evening October 15, 2007
Fort Collins, CO

How is it that you know when you have made a true heart connection with someone? How is it that you know that the connection you share is powerful enough that it will last the rest of your lives? How is it when you know that you have found your people, your tribe?

I just attended the annual district meeting of my church community and had the good fortune to reconnect with people of my heart; people who share my values and ideals, people who reflect upon what it means to be human, people who struggle with wanting to live out of a full experience of that humanity, and bring their best self to the table, people who want to make a difference with one another and in their larger worlds. I have never been a religious person before, not before finding Unitarian Universalism. I am grateful to be able to say that with each passing year my religious identity becomes more clear, more meaningful, and more important to me.

While my experience in my own congregation has been invaluable, it has been through my affiliation with other UU’s across the mountain west that has profoundly informed my heart connection to this denomination. We are quirky, there is no doubt. We are liberal in our worldviews, and what I find so remarkable is how connected we can be across our differences. How supportive we can be of the myriad ways of expressing who we are and what matters most to us.

We are diverse and pluralistic, flawed and loving, full spectrum human creatures. At our core, we share a covenant (agreement, promise, pledge) that in its simplest form affirms that as human beings we are good, we are loved, that we can make a difference, and that we are free to find our own paths to best define and live out of those assertions.

Attempting to live out of one’s best self, not for the promise of some reward in the hereafter, but because it is the right thing to do here and now, for oneself and one’s fellow creatures, makes sense to me; not just in my intellect, but in my heart as well. Living in community with others who share that experience, that understanding, and availing myself of opportunities to deepen the connections within that community nourishes my spirit, enlivens me, and puts me in touch with a felt sense of communion.

Certainly these experiences are not limited to my interactions within my religious community. But having this larger affiliation, and knowing that it is a movement that has and can continue to make an important difference in other people’s lives and in the world, enriches my life in a unique way. Infusing this movement with joy and enthusiasm, appreciating the camaraderie and alliance, experiencing the capacity and potential of making a difference, empowers me to move into action. The action of service, of speaking out against injustice, of trying to make even a small difference; all the while trying to keep my heart wide open, and making choices from my best self. Not in an attempt to be perfect though, in an attempt to be my fullest possible human self. For all that I know I have, is this shot at being human, and I want to maximize it.

I don’t want a complacent life. I don’t want to be so caught up in the rat race of our modern culture that I lose touch with a deeper sense of meaning. I don’t want to be too tired, or stressed, or oblivious to be able to respond in the ways that honor my belief that as humans we are good, we are loved, and that we can make a difference.

The first 50 years have been devoted to creating my path, my own identity. They have been devoted to “growing up”, and to bringing forth new life, guiding and nurturing those lives to have the ability to make choices to allow them to create and live out of their own best selves. I have devoted my professional life in a similar vein.
This second half will be devoted to expanding and expounding upon the strengths and gifts that I have, but perhaps in different venues and different ways. I’m not certain what that means, or what forms it will take, but I do have a deeper sense of conviction about it than I had at the beginning of this trip.

The trip… I am not sure what it was that I came looking for, nor am I sure what it is that I’ve found. I do however trust that it has been important, life affirming and informing, and invaluable in the overall arc of my life. There are a few days left before Ted and I reunite for a couple of “couple days” in Santa Fe, and another whole week before I return to work. Perhaps more will reveal itself to me. Perhaps it will be enough that I have begun to more clearly articulate what it is I believe, what matters most to me beyond my love of and commitment to loved ones and my life work.